That moment in time. It rushes over you, sets you spinning, makes you close your eyes and hold your breath. For a time, you see only darkness and hear only questions.
One of those moments came to us this week. My son texted me with... call me asap. Suddenly, the biopsy that occurred the week before jumped to my heart. The news....my 30 year old daughter in law, mother of a 6, 4, and 1 year old and 18 weeks pregnant with her 4th was diagnosed with breast cancer. Take any of those statements out into isolation and it is scary....put them all together and the news is unbelievable. Crazy. Insane. Horrific.
Suddenly the miles between us feel more like universes.
So, what to do you? How do you handle it?
Me? I call out. I pull to my faith and to God. I drop to my knees and I ask others to join me. I go to His word. I surrender to His will and trust that He prepared us. He knew it was coming.
And that's when you feel it. This calm, and peace. Strength. Love. A little light begins to break the darkness. The questions still there, but a feeling of I'll take today. I will walk through today, then tomorrow, then tomorrow, and so on. I'll trust.
I watched my daughter in law exhale and saw her gather her strength. She pulled from her wisdom and began to seek, plan and walk through it. She pulled out her humor, her perseverance and she faced the journey. She created a page on facebook. If you want to join in on the journey she called it "A lump and a bump". I tried to link it but it isn't working.
God doesn't show up mild and meek. He shows up BIG and mighty. I see that in the number of supporters, the "Jesus' in disguise", the words they use. I see that in the change in our resolve. I see that in the strangers who reach out to us. For me, there is no doubt. This journey will be long, hard, and it will have moments just like when it began. Moments that leave us spinning....but He will keep showing up. (Not that He will ever leave, we just seem to lose sight of Him when we place our eyes on the situation) He will calm the storms. He will take our hands. We shall see miracles!
The morning after the news. I opened my devotional. The scripture was Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
Could the promise be any better?
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Heart of Stone
She couldn't be stilled. Her heart raced. Her mind whirled between crazy and sane. And her feet...step after step tracing the stones of heart beneath her feet. Her movement changed with her thoughts. Tip Toe. Spin. Skip. Mimicking Groucho Marx. As she moved, she counted the stones. And they were as numerous as the answers to the question that faced her.
Sara stopped and lay across the heart. Her eyes looking toward the heavens. She had called out so many times for the answers....and none came floating back.
With her eyes closed and the beat of her heart slowing she heard footsteps approaching.
Sara knew the one who wore the shoes. The pattern and rhythm completely familiar. Her eyes still closed a smile crawled up on her lips.
"Child...what are you doing lying there on that cold stone?"
Her eyes opened to the warmth of those milky brown eyes looking down on her. She saw such wisdom there. Faith oozed from her smile. A peace seem to surround her.
She reached for the hand to pull her up and into a hug.
As they came eye to eye she pleaded for that wisdom to jump from her heart into her own mind,"What am I going to do?"
"You're not going to find your answers on your feet. I done told ya' that! You need to get down on your knees!"
"Oh Cami, I know you don't like the way I use him like my genie. But...."
Sara couldn't even finish the sentence. She knew how it would hurt her. She really had no need to call out to the heavens, or get down on her knees....he couldn't and wouldn't understand the questions of that plagued her mind.
She looked back into that look of Cami's eyes and wished she could climb inside and get what her thoughts held. Wondering what she had learned as she had gained all those wrinkles that encircled her eyes.
Cami said no more, just touched her hand. It was the way she always handled it. She'd give a little wisdom, and a lot of love. But she never pushed.
Later that evening Sara saw Cami on the porch. The old and worn bible sat on the rocking chair. Cami was down on her knees. Somehow Sara knew those prayers she was saying were all for her.
Not long after a peace settled down in Sara's mind. The answer came clear.....and she thought, I knew it would come to me.
It has been a really long time since I posted to this group
n fact, it has been a really long time since I wrote. It felt good to get some words out and create a little. The prompts have changed a little since I have been here last. This week was a photo and a quote from Groucho Marx. I started there...and loosely used it. The exercise felt good!
Sara stopped and lay across the heart. Her eyes looking toward the heavens. She had called out so many times for the answers....and none came floating back.
With her eyes closed and the beat of her heart slowing she heard footsteps approaching.
Sara knew the one who wore the shoes. The pattern and rhythm completely familiar. Her eyes still closed a smile crawled up on her lips.
"Child...what are you doing lying there on that cold stone?"
Her eyes opened to the warmth of those milky brown eyes looking down on her. She saw such wisdom there. Faith oozed from her smile. A peace seem to surround her.
She reached for the hand to pull her up and into a hug.
As they came eye to eye she pleaded for that wisdom to jump from her heart into her own mind,"What am I going to do?"
"You're not going to find your answers on your feet. I done told ya' that! You need to get down on your knees!"
"Oh Cami, I know you don't like the way I use him like my genie. But...."
Sara couldn't even finish the sentence. She knew how it would hurt her. She really had no need to call out to the heavens, or get down on her knees....he couldn't and wouldn't understand the questions of that plagued her mind.
She looked back into that look of Cami's eyes and wished she could climb inside and get what her thoughts held. Wondering what she had learned as she had gained all those wrinkles that encircled her eyes.
Cami said no more, just touched her hand. It was the way she always handled it. She'd give a little wisdom, and a lot of love. But she never pushed.
Later that evening Sara saw Cami on the porch. The old and worn bible sat on the rocking chair. Cami was down on her knees. Somehow Sara knew those prayers she was saying were all for her.
Not long after a peace settled down in Sara's mind. The answer came clear.....and she thought, I knew it would come to me.
It has been a really long time since I posted to this group
n fact, it has been a really long time since I wrote. It felt good to get some words out and create a little. The prompts have changed a little since I have been here last. This week was a photo and a quote from Groucho Marx. I started there...and loosely used it. The exercise felt good!
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